Let Go And Let Jesus....

My last blog post of 2012 finds me in reflective mood as I look back over the past twelve months.

A year ago I had completed my first year as a Student Presbyter in the Methodist Church of Great Britain.  The continuation of that training seemed to stretch on for many months and taking up post somewhere as a Probationer Minister seemed a long way off.  In less than seven days from now I will find out which Circuit I will be stationed to for my first five years of full time ministry and it seems to have come about very quickly.  In a couple of weeks I will be visiting the Circuit for the first time.  I totally trust my Father God that he has already prepared my first ministry station for me, that I will go to the place where he wants me, but still I will admit to some nervousness.

A review of the full year would be boring for everybody, so I’m not going to do that.  I just want to highlight a couple of things I have learned in 2011.

The first thing I have learned is that miracles do happen!  I have always believed that God did miracles in Old Testament and New Testament times and believed that he still works miracles today; but this year I had personal experience of one.  I was with a mission team from college in Ripon market square.  It was blowing a gale and we were trying to set up a stall to cook and give away free pancakes in order to engage people in conversation about Jesus.  Paper plates were blowing all over the market, the gas burner wouldn’t light and our banner was flapping furiously in the very stiff breeze.  In desperation I said to one of my fellow students, ‘Remember, Jesus said that we could do even greater things than him.’  I stretched out my hand and shouted into the wind, ‘In the name of Jesus of Nazareth; calm, be still!’  Immediately the wind dropped, much to my amazement of myself and my fellow students.  Miracles do still happen.

The second thing I’ve learned is far more profound.  Ever since starting my training I’ve felt inadequate, felt that most of the other students were better academically than me, felt that they had greater Scriptural knowledge than me, felt that they were much more spiritual than me…. You get the idea.  I tried my hardest to grown, to put my best efforts into becoming a better Christian, but it really didn’t seem to make much difference.

Then I remembered a lesson I learned long ago and partly forgotten; that growth in Christ comes from Christ; that growth as a Christian is totally dependent on the grace of God our Father.  We must have the desire and willingness to grow, but the actual transformation happens at God’s pace, in his time, in accordance with his perfect will.  If we try to change through our own efforts we will fail; if we let go and let Jesus change us we can be transformed.

I wondered how much Jesus had changed me.  In September I spent a month on placement in a Circuit that had the District Candidates Secretary as one of its ministers.  He said that he’d seen significant growth in me as a Christian and as a minister.  Just last week I went into the Library where I used to work and one of my former colleagues said that she thought I’d really changed from the person I was 18 months ago.

I think that there are two mistakes (well a lot more to be honest, but I want to look at two) we can make as Christians.

The first is to try to be like Jesus Christ entirely through our own efforts.  If we try we will fail.  We need our Lord Jesus each and every day, walking by our side and filling us with the Holy Spirit.  Every day now I pray:
‘Lord Jesus, please live your life in me that I might live my life in you.’

The second mistake we make is to try to be like other Christians, especially those we admire whether they be close friends and people from our own Christian fellowship or internationally respected leaders and evangelists.  God has made each of us as a unique creation; he wants us to be the best us we can be; not a copy of our local minister, or Billy Graham or whoever.

My goal for 2012, as I finish my training and move into circuit ministry, is to let go and let Jesus, to open myself fully to all that he wants to do in and through me at the pace that he wants to do it.  Can I recommend that you let Jesus take control too?