One of the trials you have to go through as a Student Minister is to preach a sermon at college to your fellow Methodist Student Ministers and Anglican Ordinands. It was my turn earlier this evening and it was a task I approached with some trepidation.
When I started ‘On Note’ as a Methodist Local Preacher I would get really nervous before taking a service. Not just the slight feeling of awe that you get because you are doing something important for God in seeking to be a channel for his word to his people in a particular location; but real stomach churning, stupid words inducing, odd behaviour causing nerves! I gradually overcame these and reached the point where there was an awareness of the vast honour and responsibility of serving God as a Christian preachers but certainly not irrational nervous feelings.
This afternoon the nerves returned! I think it was partly because I knew how tired I was after travelling from Durham to Edinburgh and back yesterday. I think it was partly because I knew I’d be getting feedback on the sermon from the Wesley Study Centre Director and I really respect his opinions on preaching as he is a very good preacher. It was mostly because I was preaching to my fellow student ministers and ordinands; a very impressive bunch of talented and spiritual people, brothers and sisters in Christ whose opinion matters to me.
I sat in my chair on the front row, feeling quite sick in my stomach, convinced that the sermon I had prepared wasn’t good enough. I enjoyed the worship, the hymns and prayers led by another student but at the back of my mind was the fact that the moment I’d been looking forward to and dreading for almost a year was upon me!
It seemed a long walk to the lectern. I reached it, took a drink of water (which, unfortunately had not become wine) and prayed my usual pre-sermon prayer. I started to preach and my nerves vanished as God’s Spirit filled me and gave me the power to preach.
I have often said that I’m most alive and most myself when I preach and that was certainly the case today. It is for others to comment on how good or bad the sermon was, and I will be posting it on here sometime next week (it’s on my other PC at College) but I truly felt that God was speaking through me as I preached; as he was with me when I was composing the sermon.
Preaching to other preachers and theologians isn’t easy; but I found that God honoured what I was doing for him and gave me the words to speak and the strength to speak them.
To God, as always, belongs all the glory!
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